There’s no simple remedy for heartbreak. Statistics show that infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce. With 58% of men and women admitting they’ve had an affair at least once, the million-dollar question is: When heartbreak strikes, how do you overcome the pain, get over it, and move on? Here are 11 surefire ways.
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Allow him to come clean
1/12
Often he is willing to share with you what happened and the extent of his affair, but it can be difficult to hear. To allow transparency and communication in your relationship, it’s ok to ask questions and allow him the opportunity to give you the information.
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Ask him for time and patience
2/12
Just because you have agreed to forgive, doesn’t mean it no longer hurts or you have somehow erased everything from your mind. Allow yourself a grieving period and ask for his support. Remember it takes time to process the why, how, when and what.
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Take ownership
3/12
They key to a fresh start is for both parties to take ownership in the failed relationship. Although infidelity is inexcusable in an exclusive relationship, take a moment to reflect and ask yourself, “Did I contribute anything to push him away?”
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Mean what you say
4/12
You have agreed to forgive. We understand that doesn’t mean you have forgotten what has happened. It does mean however that you cannot hold it over their head dangling every single time an argument occurs and continue to open fresh wounds.
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Seek counsel
5/12
As women it’s often easiest to call our closest girlfriend or family members to share all of the dirty details just to vent. Let’s face it, at the time you’re steaming mad and want to call him every name under the sun just to relieve the pain.
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Allow yourself permission to love again
6/12
Hey, you have made up in your mind that you want to try it again and allow yourself a “duover.” Let your goal be to do just that. It may not happen overnight, but allow yourself to fall in love again, especially when you see he’s on the right track.
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Give him praise
7/12
Speaking of him making an effort to be on the right track, when you see him checking in more or asking if you’re ok, or even leaving his phone around when he hadn’t before, don’t let it go unnoticed. It’s ok to mention to him that you see the things he’s
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Set different parameters for the relationship
8/12
Take a moment for both of you to write down the top 1-3 things you would each like to change about your relationship and then switch papers. For instance, if he wants more affection or you want more help around the house. After you’ve written them down,
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Draw from your spirituality
9/12
If you are a spiritual person, increase your prayer life and meditate to help you relax and be in tuned with God. It’s always great to be accountable to a higher power and be able to share your goals with Him to in turn be given guidance.
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Surround yourself with positive people and couples
10/12
As you start this transition of repairing your relationship, it’s always a great idea to find people who support the two of you both as individuals and as a couple. If you find that you have too many “negative Nancy’s around you or touting Thomas.”
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Remember the reasons that made you stay
11/12
With the fast pace of life and so many things hitting us at once, it’s easy to get back into a regimented routine without paying too much attention to why you’re even together.
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Here’s to LOVE!
12/12
Remember it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Know that this will be a journey but there are many, many couples who have survived through transparency, open communication, accountability, trust, and often turning to their faith for inspiration.